The waves, life itself, is in a state of fluidity, rushing. The last few days have been a torrent of this, in all, the last few weeks as well. The distance in separation that you can feel from yourself in a mere few weeks is incredible. The excitement and apprehension of the process of further becoming stands remarkable as well. Daily I fel closer to a comfort, residence. Breaking over the waves (in a 4-bed, windowless room somewhere that in earlier days of maritime transit was reserved for vagabonds and hidden pirate romance) tonight towards Scandinavia will be, well, leaving a developing home. The excitement and newness of daily encounters and wrong turns into brilliance continues, though the more settled, no, more thoroughly accustomed life in the West looms. Where singularity of language overpowers, where to most things that are kõikjal (everywhere) in society and in every word and glance, suddenly in an ocean away are absent. This is what I am returning to, and will return from januaaris. Towards red metal roofs covered in sea breeze and snow, towards where öö is a common word.
The difficulty of language will pervade, for years and on. Difficulty in the sense of absorption, of self exclusion from what is known (and to most others as well, with misfortune) and kiire (quick) in comprehension to myself. With possible work as well, one of the 'skills' I will shower around will be native English speaking, loodan et with avoidance of 'tourist' ends in such work. There are possibilities rising now, with NGOs (mmmmtf), ülikooliga (viisteist krooni espresso iga hommik, jah!), and assistant research possibilities (sort of like sex, except also with the ode kohv). The months before such already arouse a longing. The absence of some fucking great people from the Cities, the absence of a sea and common comprehension of täpselt, the days will probably progress in altering speed and drift. Ööd alongwith.
The discoveries are only rising and turning, with a horizon stretching forth. Saaremaa, Hiiumaa, Soomi, Samimaa, põhja, siia ja sinna. The rush, the tide and taevas. Edasi,
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