30 July 2013

the dregs - jäägid


In a café, where everyone is speaking aloud, why is it so odd and discouraged for me to speak aloud myself?

Oh, that's right—because I'm alone at my table, save for my trusty white-framed, glowy screen buddy (not sure if it'd be over the line to call it a "bro"...no, it would), and the dregs of a pot of Earl Grey. That's why.

Got to love the lance-free freelancing lifestyle! Or else.

Buzz, buzz.

(tuesdaydisdat - teisipäev - вторник)

Edasi, вперёд...

22 July 2013

changes - muutused


How to reopen yourself in another culture once you have adapted yourself to its standard of immediate suspicion, narrow-eyedness, and withdrawal? This is a topic to be explored at greater length when a chunk of time wealthier in minutes and seconds and ticks and tocks presents itself for doing so... not just semi-procrastination in the face of woebegone word-processing woes.

There was an interesting article/post/eloquent rant that I stumbled upon recently, which expounded on the loneliness and elusive identity of being bi- or multi-cultural. I fully agree with the, in my opinion, fact that language and culture cannot be separated. History, land, language, customs, attitudes... all interlaced and interlocked, pumped up like fresh kicks. Hence, "mastering" a language and conveying it in the most coherent form possible means taking on and actively engaging a massive range of initially foreign elements. Over time and with fluency, these become ingrained; almost adopted. At the same time, not all of them mesh so well with your central character and nature. They can be respected and even mimicked for a while, but giving them a set of keys and "putting your bread in the same box" (as the Estonian saying goes)? Hells no. At some point, you reach the cusp that lies in the transition from ignoring to decision-making. Ironing out the kinks, while keeping it kinky. Super kinky. Linguistically speaking, of course. And otherwise. What?

It is this part of my Minnesotan-ness, which I now need to awaken in my Estonian-language "me". Minnesota nice, soft and non-encroaching friendliness, openness, a love for good craft beer. Well, I suppose the latter of those has been in practice all along. All the same, there comes a time, when you have to flout a number of one culture's demands and expectations in favor of what you feel is right in the bigger picture. I suppose it is the forging of that fused identity; a common and more whole expression of all you've been through and what you've taken from it. One, which adds value to all of your cultures, and stands as a more complete and unique example to others.

Here goes.

Edasi, вперёд...