Кто за кого (a prelude to Балтика 5)..

I don't mean to turn this blog into a semi-political commentary, though when my weekly reading rotates between The Economist, BBC, The Onion, and Вести.. it's hard not to throw some things out there. Propaganda on both, no, all sides is stunning in the Georgian conflict. Both the subtleties as well as the wider drives in 'conspiracy' almost provokes more interest than the world-shaking conflict itself and how it has shed light on in the 'don't go there's' of Western-Russian relations.

I say all sides, because it's more than just Georgia-Russia or West-Russia. As Georgia isn't (yet) in NATO and thus remains susceptible to the full Russian political and military machine, there remains a divergence in perspectives (though Saakashvili's use of the EU flag during statements does suggest he feels differently). The Estonian take on all of this is special as well, and within that, the Russian-speaking Estonians vs. those with Estonian as a birth language. Haven't been following much of the US perspective, though it seems to take on the wider confrontation with Russia that has been brewing since 1992. European perspectives.. even going further to saying French-German perspectives, that of the British, and elsewhere, all differ. I've been mainly observing the Russian reactions on this whole deal, however, and many of my mornings before work of late have taken on the appearance of me with tea stapled to my hand and Вести television streaming online (often with some Soviet movie playing on my TV in the background as well.. nothing like an early onslaught!).

What provoked (ha.. and how that word has flown around in the last week) this post was this article from Вести (Vesti, for all the non-Cyrillicers) which just jumped up in the last hour. Apparently, as is being discussed in a meeting of the Russian Defense Ministry, Georgian militia in cooperation with Ukrainian nationalists and Chechen terrorists (note: not just 'separatists') have taken part in and are planning more 'provocation for unrest' in Gori. Their tactic: dressing in Russian military and peacekeeping uniforms, then making their way around the city looting and committing general rape-kill-plunder sort of crimes against the local population. They also are, apparently, carrying or distributing video cameras so that the events may be recorded and thus allow the Georgian side to decry continued Russian occupation (of 'peacekeeping' forces though, mind you.. ha.. ha..) and in their hopes, pull NATO members deeper into the fray.

Obviously covering their back for the expected nights out of their future-militzia members scattered throughout Georgia now. However, I wouldn't put it past Saakashvili to attempt that through security forces, in an attempt to get the West to saddle up. And at the same time, Russian citizens feel reassured that their image (at least with themselves and those who speak the language) remains clean as a bottle of Russkiy Standart. One should remember, however, that Russian vodka does, from time to time, become somehow interlaced with industrial toxins.

Конец первой серии..

Edasi, вперед..

И чуть о России..

Just have to throw it in there as well.. welcome to the new Холодная Война (Cold War). Russian media is making a point of stating how US planes are flying 800 Georgian fighters from Iraq back home, in order to fight Russians. Another article rages on about how their troops have been trained by American forces for the last ten years.

I'm just drawn into a news programme in the middle of the breathless Russian reporting which detailed every type of military equipment Georgia is using ('against peaceful people and Russian citizens').. how many troops were trained by the US and Turkey.. where they bought and where everything was constructed (Turkey, Israel, Ukraine and US).. and just came up how apparently Georgian special forces planned a terrorist attack in Russia, according to the FSB. Medvedev is meeting with FSB now, so time to tune on to that one..

Proxy wars again?! Language at the Security Council is sharp.. The world should fear when the Russian military tires of beating its own members up and turns to other sources. Oh, wait, this is a 'peace keeping' mission..

Tick, tick..

Вперёд..

Затуманенно (while being obscured by mist)..

Nii.. a great shift is drawing closer, though it feels as my awareness of it dims with every day nearer. When plans become more finalized and the event itself is realized in fuller detail.. it stirs near-disbelief. Which is distracting in itself.. as, shit!, there's a wide array of things to set up and finalize things in greater form as time progresses. I feel that too much time is caught in a circular tide; thinking how amazing and different things will be in such a short time, and in that all of the things which necessarily follow (i.e. shipping, packing, job, living) arise to consciousness.. and just as quickly seem as if a dream. In questioning the reality of everything finally 'happening,' I get caught up in excitement at its mere occurrence. I suppose in straight American English, what I'm attempting to carry across is, 'It's about time to get the fuck up on top of that shit!'

At the same time it's incredibly odd, as developments that I've been waiting on for months here have just started coming through which in effect actually legitimize my presence and incur the opposite of 'up and moving out.' I picked up my ID-kaart from the wretched Migration Board a week ago, and with it came my Isiku kood; basically a less secret Eesti Social Security code. With it, I've signed a form and am covered by the national (universal!) health insurance, I'm to sign a 'work contract' soon (ha.. ha.. mm.. about that..), just got paid legally through my bank account (continuing an economic diet of rice, with this, becomes all the more necessary thanks to 24% now claimed by taxes).. things are setting and solidifying at the same time that I am moving towards loosening and detachment. It feels ironic, though at the same time it feels right. I've recently been able to admit and see for what it is how lonely it is living here, with few if any possibilities for constant and fulfilling friendships on the horizon. Even shifting away from just looking at the present and gaging the coming months, it's much simpler to justify a 'yes' decision to moving back. It already feels like fall here, which I enjoy, and excites me further to simmer myself soon in the Minnesota version of it. The days are shorter (which started by the realization that, wait, there is a night!), it drops to sub 10C at night (perfect for kampsunid (sweaters) and hoodies! Yeeahhh North!), and.. generally.. reminds that the summer is closing out and more Radioheadish months approach. If I made it through spring and summer semi-adequately with a short supply of comrades (most, even, of whom are likewise leaving for various places in a month), I don't see anything exhilarating in putting myself through the coming dark days without the close company of great friends. I know I could do it, and the challenge of it is the only thing that preserves the faint possibility of residing here, though when the mere addiction to challenge is filtered from the point of here, exceedingly little remains to tip or shake the scale. No need to deny myself a positive thing and a strong step forward!

With that, less than five weeks remain until I'm arm in arm with friends and stouts on patios under goldening leaves!

That is, if Russia refrains from massing troops up to take back Narva (the border city with a sister castle to the Russian side). I've got to say, living in an ex-Soviet Republic at a time like this makes one a bit giddy. The unfortunate effect of having to work for rent comes between myself and departing here on a massive enjoyable political romp, though I'll try to stretch out the fingers and dust off the keyboard to take that on here in the next 12 hours or so. 'Soiuuuuz nerushimiy, respuuuubliikk svobonikh..'!!..

Ah, here's a tip of the hat and a cheer's to Ian's blog (Magyarishness off to your left there) with a great propaganda map that I stumbled over.. the Russian title reads 'Map of Our People for Children,' and details all areas that may be, in effect, classified as 'Russian.' I'm just waiting for the RF to fill in the gaps again..

Edasi, вперёд..

Шевелиться.. Stir..

Ну, well well.. As usual, I've had the semi-constant urge to put something down here. And following the usual response to that urge, it's slipped away here and there when opportunity comes around. I've felt an (admittedly, sickenly pop-culture, Californication-inspired) increased drive to write more. The next step is logically figuring out something to write about.. a requirement which causes most sense I have to scatter. I suppose sitting down and going at it with no intended purpose is a sufficient alternative, probably one with better results less tinged in the rise and fade of immediate emotion surrounding other whims. I digress.

Today hails the six-week-and-counting mark! Incredibly stoked for the return to Minneapolis, and another start at sorting things out for the next few years. The GRE and FSOT await me within a month or two of arrival, and the LSAT if I become bored enough to slog through the preparations (I also fear becoming distracted on my way through Barnes & Noble towards the prep guides). It's exciting in the way that I'm motivated to become motivated. For now, at least.. though it will be something constant that I can resultingly restimulate with a combination of caffeine and alcohol!

Sensing the rerelocation drawing near, I'm also, in theory, taking to seeing and imbibing what's around much more. The pictures on the last post were from the Tallinn Soviet-era prison (which shut down just six years ago.. not sure in which era the conditions were worse) that I'd heard about and had this long-running ambition to scour through. At the entrance, only announced by the massive metal door being open and a small sign out of easy view stating the hours (and the fact that hours change faster than McCain's attempts at insults), a small shack appears which is the ticket booth, at the end of a winding gravel road with no apparent direction. You drop the old (Estonian) ticket lady 30 kroon, and she tells you to check out the execution room on the right and then do everything on the left. That's where the museum guidance ends. Creepy and sort of thrilling experience! The only thing stopping you from going too far (whatever that could mean) is the fact that the particular iron door or bars are welded shut. Random shit is lying around everywhere, old newspapers still stuck to the walls, clothing, books, drawings, dripping ceilings, surgical equipment.. just about everything minus glass cases, lighted rooms (ha ha.. really), and a reassuring atmosphere. One of those unique things that within a year or two will be either replicated high-cost apartments or shut out and left to disintegrate.

The other adventure of late (urges for which also stem from boredom, loneliness and a growing aversion to the near-daily routine of pointless 'work' alternated with making rice) was a spontaneous camping trip to somewhere south of Pärnu, in south-western Eesti. Nothing like starting out the morning with an 80 kroon (around $8.. note the stunning use of detail in the set-up instructions at left) tent purchase from the supermarket, spending the day on a bus and hiking for hours down the coast, almost getting swallowed by mystery death swamp ponds, and finishing out the day with a Baltic Sea (Läänemere - lit. 'West-Sea') view and sausages! Correctly, as my Estonian coworkers pointed out, somewhat crazy and lonely going it alone, though its the only option I really have here along with the fact that doing it that way was satisfying in its own right. My rule is that if you aren't eaten by wild boars or Latvians while doing it solo, bring it on! I'll see how applying that one works out in other life situations as they present themselves..

I'm holding my fists tight and repeating 'comeonnnn' over and over in anticipation of scoring a car to borrow for a good six days, and driving to the top of the European world in late August on a similar sort of seiklus. Sort of thing that would be really amazing with one or several friends, though central Europe and ocean(s) sort of come in the way of that for now.. which all contributes towards reinforcing the validity of my decision to make it back to the Cities for a very prolonged time!

I feel that I'm reporting a bit too much and edging closer to underlying moaning about this and that.. Probably hamper myself with doggedly sticking to only Eesti keel in developing friendly relations with locals. You would think that taking it on like this would actually turn over more promising experiences and root you more into the scene, though it often is met with an ironic dismissal of you just being any other person then.. which most likely detracts from chances of a quick-start relationship in an already closed-up culture. I realize, though, that I didn't move here to make friends, and definitely did not uproot in order to be used as a convenient English tutor dropped unexpectedly into locals' lives. The tiring, resounding majority of foreigners living here also make it more of a challenge to break the expat stereotype.. not making an effort at the language, combined with fundamental goals of getting some hot foreign ass (yes, respectable in itself, though the approach usually taken can be somewhat refined..). I'm a bit proud and relieved to be tagged moreso with the 'local' and not 'foreigner' status in comparison, even if it means culturally being brushed aside. Definitely somewhat of a stretch to compare the trend to those of migration (urbanization compared to rural life, or moving to the West compared to the choices here) or marriage (women look resoundingly for contextually older men or ones with more opportunities to offer).. though from what I've perceived, many people regard foreigners and most relationships in general in an incredibly opportunistic sense. People make a core group of old school-friends and relationships they stick with and value, and close off afterwards, holding new contacts in the sidelines as they see fit. Again, this is all more or less and sweepingly general, though pervasive. In that sort of light, most is simply what's to be expected given the circumstances.. unfortunate, and probably more difficult in some respects than would be in various other cultures and locations, though the reason for moving here was to take in exactly that as well. Just makes daily ins and outs a bit tiring, as in a way it's the non-stop linguistic business.. at least this time around. Could be the city, could be not tapping into the right scene, could be the language of focus, could be not having enough wine for the evening as of yet. All in all just continues to be interesting in its own interpretation, as you delve deeper and search out the variations. Поехали..

With semi-constancy in applying myself to writing, I'll hopefully get farther away from the reporting and moaning in following posts here! Though the words probably ring in emptiness as I raise a pint and my condolences to those who have for whatever reason even made it this far in me bantering blandly and pressingly this round.. Еще вино! More Dosh!

Axx.. Soon into refreshing scenes, dark pints and Minnesota skies.. Boardgames and lakes, friends, skylines and a possibility for mixing work with exploration of multilingual Slavic undercurrents of the Cities!! I'll expand on that spicy one in short time..

Edasi.. Вперёд..