Рржжжжшшшшщщщщ.. or, 'Lá metamophose de Mister Chat'

How else to put it.. It's a double shower, double glass of wine sort of day.

What leads to this sort of realization is somewhat irrelevant. Everything leads to everything.. yes, a shitty cop-out, though in the grand scheme of things and the first sip of this second glass and with no pressure to elaborate, I deem it adequate.

Not to have to quote John Mayer lyrics (I hope he plagiarized these words, especially given the context), though, 'I feel a quarter-life crisis just a'stirring in my soul.'

I felt close to walking out of work today. Nothing exceptionally dramatic precluded it, minus the usual bullshit of dealing with hordes of middle-aged women as customers (no offense to any innocent intakers of this post, though given this sampling, fucking worse than underslept 5 year old children) and high-school aged, pre-high-school mentality co-(used liberally)-workers (likewise). To disclaim: this only describes about 80% of those I work with and if need be, I could identify a good .. four or five who are upstanding members of society. That might be one of my current sources of contention, though let's just move onwards.

Strangely, it's not the place that seems to be stirring up these inexplicables. I can say that, especially today, an intensely strong missing of good friends in the States came a-surfacing. If there wasn't the distance, this post would probably not have emerged and most of its content would have been mentioned and dissipated through the bottom of Oktoberfest kegs and free salted popcorn. The strong sense of friends' absence is most likely a symptom of general realigning, and one that I can comfort myself as being short-term.

Upon getting back to the States, I've got some meetings set up. Both of them are jobs which would require Russian, something I'm going to focus on primarily in the search for employment and hold as a priority. That'll steady things a bit. Feeling.. well, feeling that I'm actually contributing something to the world would be great, though even an environment separate from the basics of service is something which is crystallizing as being intensely necessary. There is a balance somewhere, and this is not it. True enough, I'm here for the language and not the job, so I can placate the situation with that fact and strive harder to concentrate on it. However, lightly put, I'm ready for a forward switch.

For all that is and has been coming forth from this, both the positives and the negatives, I want to stress my appreciation for all situations and places involved. I don't want the blog as a whole or this post to carry forth a discouraging tone.. somewhat the total opposite, really. Though it's through these waiting periods and aggravations that the other bits really seem to shine through and sort themselves out.

Vague? Yes. Exactly.

It's the pull of momentum temporarily shrouded and impatiently puling itself through. As if in a rolling fog, comfortable in the thick, and disoriented when stumbling into lighter shades.

Metaphors are insufficient, though enough to settle with for now in light of exhaustion.

On a side note, due to what was most likely the plague (not on my end), the much awaited date of mention was postponed to the end of this week. Going on about it would only serve to uselessly lay blame on unresponsive circumstance. I'll leave digression on that about there for now, and sharpen my pencils (they number two) in prolonged anticipation. Haha.. no, really, we're going to go sketch some buildings around the city and whatnot.

Enough of the undirected disconcertedness for now. Expect some general upbeatedness and positivitiveness to come.. there's nowhere else it can go (definitely not to Iceland right now)! To maintain credentials and quote out on a more widely varied, less sexually charged, nearly excessively upbeat and lower-pop-neutral source, 'Yes, we can..'

Allllright.

Wait.. can't I just blame the financial crisis?

Edasi, вперёд..