Riding the waves.. ratsutaud lained.. езжающий на волнах..

Nii.. really no way to describe things other than ups and downs. I really wish that I had more to stream consciousness about on random here and theres, though the last few weeks have been devoid of posts due to a more inward view on things. Not exactly a bad thing, just biding time and sorting things out. Tonight was one of the best nights I have had for.. a while. I confess that part of this does include the fact that it was mostly in English, given that this has become the main determinant of every action (what language it takes place in, not explicitly that it took place in English mind you). However.. yeah. Well done by all. I worked for the morning, was able to move myself into it slowly thanks to some mild food reactions (aaah feta..) from last night and the resulting good amount of much-needed sleep due to a wild schedule. Work (kohvikus.. in the cafe.. for those not caught up on this, first off, yes, second off, more explanation in time) was vaikne (quiet) for most of the day. Great time to catch up on last week's The Economist, in part due to the fact that Eastern Europe = Minneapolis = The Economist's version of the Wild West and subscription issues usually arrive a few days after publication. After work I watched some Office, all part of the US culture daily supplement (along with gun-toting and a ritual refusal of quartering troops), talked with Kim in DC for a while and made rice, then after delaying the evening with Shiraz and more Office set out to Vanalinna (to Old Town). After a fall through on some Americans being out that I randomly encountered here (not in any sense the worst thing to not happen), I scored some free espresso from another cafe and did some wild EU texting with my Japanese friend here in Tallinn. Met up with her, рукEesti boyfriend, some Soome girls, a few Czech guys and a German guy (who has intimate knowledge of northwestern Wisconsin.. ridiculous!). After several failed attempts to go into some bars we landed a spot in a semi-classy one with some live Latin music. It was.. hanging out. Obzhalis', prosto. Great conversations, great meetings and more to come. It might be the separation of work and social life, work in a long-term sense of locking down other languages, that has been missing and causing stress. Possibly it had been not previously meeting people that I could really connect with.. in the sense that I would feel comfortable hanging out either with pints of Saku or Hope and King, in any language. Life as a foreigner has its difficulties, which do not need to be solved by a reversion to a home culture entirely. Given, yes, and I continually feel this semi-religious sort of guilt, English is my native language and I do have an unfair advantage. However the energy which comes from a collection of foreigners meeting on the basis of that.. it's not purely the language specifically that I am comfortable with, but the global views and the various backgrounds of the fact; why the fuck are you in Estonia? Few of us have firm answers. Alright, some are avoiding conscription in Germany and attempting to scout out of it with 11 months of foreign social work. However that could be done in other EU countries connected by Schengen where Merckel won't track you down. So, Estonia. And few of us have firm answers. Which is exactly what the rest of us are comforted to hear.
Interesting developments to proceed. The mere possibility of this is enlivening and only sheds light on the connections between a lull in these and general waves of unsure inhabitance.
Edasi..