..and counting (поехали, läks)..

Amongst other things, I have an explicit need to start off this post with a winding, moaning rant somewhat concerning certain local practices.

What sort of culture promotes having a fucking national (also read: inherently exclusive) holiday out of each individual's birthday?! Also, I get the 'small nation' complex. True, and well deserved. Alright, stated. Next step: get over it. So your population numbers under 1,5 million. Given. I have a sneaking suspicion, however, that in order to extend a national presence farther and to feel more populous, people celebrate their birthdays at least 30 times per calendar year. What, you may inquire somewhere deep in your Estonian-deficient consciousness, exactly do these so called 'sünnipäevad' signify? Well, mainly, making plans with others in advance.. from weeks to days.. and then canceling out with apologies after curious inquiry from one of the parties when the arranged event is overlooked from the birthday-attending side. It should also be noted that birthday parties, apparently, require full and mandatory attendance by all of the individual's close-to-peripheral friends, for the entire duration of the evening, presumably with a celebrated 'tucking in' party capping off the newly aged person's social orgy. The event also will not take place in any public area, reliably spurn invitation of more than the mysterious number of 'close friends' for attendance, and, if possible, should likely be held in the middle of a mysterious and inaccessible bog kilometres away from any urban locale.

Would be less of an annoyance if the observation wasn't anthropologically sound, made over an extended period of time and many, many occurrences.

Birthdays here are bullshit.

So enough of that, for now. And onto..

Less than a week!! Невероятно, просто.. To clarify though, under 7 days from now I will be nudged somewhere in Pariis with a friend who I met in Tallinn a few years ago (see the L'Envers du Regard site for breathtaking reference, or revisit my 2006 posts). Should be really great! Wine and Sicilian card games that I can't comprehend are on their way.. Followed by Chunneling my way to London, meeting up with a Minneapolis friend for a pint, then off to Heathrow and from there hopping the ocean for the first time in around 10 months. Ridiculous! I am incredibly stoked.. Yes, living situation is somewhat fuzzy for the first while, and for the longer while if nothing pans out with work or residence and I need to postpone a 'full' return. I've come to know and appreciate the differences between 'realizing' something and 'preparation' for it, however. Right now, I have a grasp on neither. The nearness of the event and the whirlwind of days.. weeks.. that it will bring with it require time to sit and contemplate on it, or just the events themselves to smack me in the face to slide my fingers over comprehension of the trip, and possible move, itself. Preparation for all of this goes somewhat in hand with the realization, meaning that I'm expecting most ends to come together sometime järgmisel laupäeva õhtul. Probably between double fists of some Palmse Viru õlu. I've informed my landlord (who is also on vacation for the next month or so) that I'm going to rent for the full september and oktoober months in any case, I've sold my hard-transported futon to a good man from the café (and probably most of my dishes, leaving a skeleton 'in-case' stock), packed up a box to ship some heavier items (and at the same time wild about the fact that I'll still pay more than my airfare to get both bags through the first flight), basically.. set in the first stones for the bridge. What remains are the difficult parts. Näiteks.. finding a way to sustain myself if I do reroot, while also explaining to my employer in that situation why I didn't return as of yet and how to sort things out in an effort to sustain my residency permit as well as what I can do for the firm from abroad.. näiteks.. gearing myself up and making decisions for further education or employment. Locked myself into a GRE test date a week after I return, which should fit well with lingering jet lag and reverse-cultural awkwardness. Not to mention that mathematics and I are the tire-slashing sort of enemies. Makes a possible architecture masters programme and myself seem from a distance as the best of possible chums.

Basically, I'm so flushed with excitement for all of this that it almost turns into doubt that it is happening at all. Seems so odd.. so familiar, and so real. It's the same feeling when you're dreaming and you start to realize it, though you accept the realization of unconsciousness and don't see it as so much a stark alternative to waking up and starting that tea. What feels and appears as procrastination is actually disbelief and that good fear that makes your gut numb and your spine tingle (Kim read: bacon).

It's 'the same kind you feel before another beginning of beginnings.. or before expected meeting up with a fiercely cute and provoking Estonian girl.

Just holding out hope that the journey home won't have any sünnipäevad to attend..

More on the ground situation here in short time..

Edasi, вперёд..