I have lately been lacking in much-any motivation to post here, or to complete much else. A bit of it is the frenzied slam-pow of the semester which I undertook, and its physical and mental repercussions (I finished the last of 3 papers the week before Thanksgiving.. all due by 13 December. Possibly this occurred as one of the papers concerned monuments of Lenin, and all these crazy images of his office in Smolnii Institut kept popping up, and a subsequent nation-building internationalist (shit, that could get me now if I apply for the 'farm', couldn't it..) fury took over my writing. At least I wasn't writing on Stalin..). Digressing, I am feeling fucking tired.
Which is where the cold, sharp-profiled face of chance gave me a bit of a break.. I now have an apartment Tallinnas (in Talinn)! An Estonian friend gave me some assistance with connections, and following a few emails reassuring that I wasn't a neocon, neolib, terrorist, Holocaust denier, vampire, or Schroeder supporter, they offered a spot in a 3-room apartment to me.
Note, '3-room' (3 toaline), and not '3-bedroom' (3 magamistoaline).
There will be much more on all of this.. when.. motivation recurs. I am really shot, and kahjuks (unfortunately, k sozhalenuiu) this is about all that I am able to scratch out for the evening. The surreality of selling everything, finishing everything.. the motion and the rush which is only in an initiation of building.. it is running me through this disoriented state. Things are coming together, and I am progressing steadily and moving forward, though it is like watching a film drunk. Soon will be a more steady grasp of things.. or a sobriety.. and hopes that there is coffee, clouds, and a view through the horizon of the sea when this occurs.
This post was meant to be much more detailed and.. fuck if I can't even finish a sentence..
Closing in on kaks nädala veel.. edasi..
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