Nii.. everything is a crazy flurry of comprehension, developments and waiting on development. It is really hard to grip on.. anything. To sort anything out solidly. Not that this is making anything bad, I can tell that it isn't bad. Things are good, though things are also incomprehensible. There is little flow as of yet, as I am restructuring the base of my life. Wild.
I have a (provisional) job.. which if it plays out will start the underworking of settling. I (am, and will possibly remain) the journalist for the Baltic Times newspaper; the single English-written publication spanning Leedu, Läti ja Eesti. It is as foreign to me as most other things. Yeah. Life is a bit foreign right now. After years in service and dealing with people, I am taking on people from another angle now. It feels a bit impersonal, intruding.. awkward. The first issue of the new year is delayed to 9 January, which is a bit of relief. I believe that I only have to write one large article for it, and then work out the 3 or 4 news articles and corresponding news briefs the two days before going to press. However, this is sort of consuming me as well.. and 'work' may only slightly dominate the consumption (shit, it is a disease..) of worry as well. Just the organization and coordination of something like this is strange. Figuring out the sources and the angle which I am going at the article came a bit smoothly last night, with Google slaving under my fingertips. My flatmate Rain came out with a superhero suit as well, getting me the number of probably one of Estonia's most famous actors. I was able to set up an interview with him.. got myself stoked up, dashed some questions down which still seem absurd to me when I read over them (I now avoid this and am waiting to curse myself for during the actual interview), made a jaunt out to make sure I know where his place was.. and.. got there and rang.. and.. not home. Perfect. Journalism sucks.
Returning to getting in contact with this actor.. crazy. This is a small country, and people really do live amongst other people, know other people, have random schedules like other people. After spooning down some Eesti kohv (Estonian coffee, and yes, for later explanation, this does require utensils), taking some cold showers, running myself through the washing machine, and revving myself up with some 'Steve Holt!'s, I called. The few words I took from the mechanized recording meant the line was busy immeiately.. so, alright, give it an hour before Holting again. After a few minutes, my mobile rang with an unknown number and an eesti mees was on the other end..
"Tere! Siin on Rain..".. ah, so I thought. It's my flatmate Rain, strange that he jumped into full Estonian so fast. So, in friendly reflexive response I shot back, "Tere, Rain! Kuidas läheb?". "Aaah.. hästi.. asasdoiasdjaoijasoij (or its Estonian equivalent.. I heard the letter "l" for sure.). I realize my own idiocy more quickly more often now, and I asked to switch into English if possible, then figuring out that this was the actor who I had received a busy signal for. Set up a meeting for a few hours later (eh, well..), and it was (initially) simple. Crazy. At his apartment, not so far from mine, where I would meet his wife and glance over his awards from the Venice Film Festival. Eh.
This is around where, while incredible in itself, a dose of familiarity with something work related would allow me to grasp and make intelligible.. other elements. Give me a steam wand and an espresso grinder, some mindless task and a flow of people and language being the main concern, not the (ugh)"profession" itself. It is part of living, though. Part of this, and the next stage of things along with everything else which is heaped on and on its way. It's fantastic. And fucking scary. It as if, had this been for a month or something and I had returned to familiarity and a semi-established life routine, this would all focus now or then to some extent. Though I realize that this is ainult üks nädal, ja veel pole kuud (only a week, not yet a month). And the holidays give another edge of surreality.. things shut down for literally three days surrounding Jõulupäev (Christmas, and more often simply referred to as Jõulu, which eliminates the confines of päev, which is the word for a day..). Raske, aga põnev ja kõik aeg läheb edasi, kuhugi.. alati kuhugi.
Piparkoogid ja glögi. Mere, aah ja taevas all.. see meretaevas, pime ja lõpematu ööd. Sellepärast,
Edasi..
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